My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Do vagina's smell?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
