it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
