He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
