dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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