Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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