just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm both gender and math confused
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
