he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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