is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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