Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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