Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
