paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
