Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
