Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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