we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize