I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
