Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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