Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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