Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
