I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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