lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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