I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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