Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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