you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
