girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
