I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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