What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
