new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I did not marry a roomba.
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