sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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