So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
