her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
