no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize