I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
