She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Still dying that you shit outside
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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