i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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