Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
