Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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