If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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