My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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