I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
