Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
