I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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