he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
