THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
