Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
