Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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