remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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