DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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