Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
