How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
