he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
