I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
