Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
