glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
