she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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