You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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