I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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