How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize